"A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor is a man perfected without trials." Chinese Proverb 

There will always be bad days. Days that will test  your patience. Days that will make you question your very existence. And if you teach kids you run into days like this more than most. Teachers, no matter where you are, are just not paid enough. There is a mob mentality to a classroom. You cannot just engage them on an individual level but must be prepared to do battle with them as a hoard. One that will spot your weakness and go right for the vein if you let them. Especially 7 year olds. My day started with an explosion of coffee, standing in the rain to be picked up for about 30 min, then off to a classroom of my new Kindergarten Students where I find out that I am without my Chinese Teacher Assistant to help me today. So the fun ensues as boundaries get pushed. At one point a chair gets pulled out from under one student who then bounces his head rather nicely, this is of course when the lady assigned to try to help me is dealing with a sick child and I am on my own. I have 3 little groups that stay in constant cahoots waiting for any opportunity to steal away a chance to play with their friend over paying attention to the new teacher. Two hours, was it really only two hours, man that can seem like such a long time when facing such a battle. In the end I think that we managed to come out of it a draw. Time to draw up some boundaries tomorrow, wish me luck.

Oh, did I mention that I was hit by a lady on her moped. I expected something like that to hurt a lot worse than it did. But in all honesty she was startled hit the accelerator instead of the brake and plowed into me, well sort of. As some who read this know plowing into me can be hazardous and the moped kinda of glanced off me and turned her into a parked one for a rather spectacular domino effect that you thought really only occurs  in the movies. I am no worse for wear well at least from the accident I cannot say as much after the kids this morning...

I have been working on an article for a martial arts magazine focused on how Martial Arts and Qigong are related. I am having a hard time keeping it to an average readers level. When you are trying to inform the public it is not the same as talking among peers, or teaching a class. For the public to care, to be engaged they need information that is digestible to them on all levels. This is going to be harder for me than I anticipated as I summarize again the 2500 words into something that might actually get accepted somewhere.

Rosetta Stone is a great software. However I would recommend to them that they create a emergency chapter, a travel chapter of sorts. One that HAMMERS into place the needed vocabulary for dealing with a basic transaction with vendors. Just saying.

I have been waking up early and working on my Tai Chi Yang Short form every morning. I am still not pleased with the last road of the sequences and want to get the flow down much better. Yesterday I wrote 800 words on my article, 4 Units of Rosetta Stone, started a book on grant writing, read a chapter on Shaolin medicinal formulas, reviewed the placement of the Lung Channel, practiced Kanshiwa, Kanshu, Seichin Katas from Uechi Ryu, Monitored a managerial English Class, and taught some kids how to growl like a dog... and managed to steal a few minutes to Skype the family.

Life is about living, it is about doing, being. These are actions, not objects, life is not an object it is a verb.  We all tend to think about life as this thing, objective and cold belonging to someone else, belonging to our future.However LIFE is happening right now, this minute, this second. Whatever life you are not busy living is, IMHO just waiting around to die.

The Knight upon arrival....

Walking ten thousand miles of the world is better than reading ten thousand scrolls. Chinese Proverb

I have read many many tomes on China the history and philosophy, medical science and ideology. Last week began a journey. Not of mind, but of body. I made it to Shanghai airport on what turned out to be one of the most comfortable airplane rides I have ever been on. I had the entire row to myself. My ride from Texas to LA was horrible in comparison, though the 14 hours in the air did dampen the spirit a bit. :) When I arrived customs was not even 15 minutes of standing in line. Things are CONSIDERABLY organized. The driver and one of the instructors picked me up and so the adventure began.... to find the car. They forgot where it was parked. As I was carrying around a 150 pounds of gear this made for some interesting moments. We finally get the car and head into the fog of Shanghai....

Time to see the lights... the skyscrapers of one of the largest cities in the world... Did I mention fog. There was a fog that was thick enough you could feel it crawl over you, as you only can in a port city. So time for a new adventure getting out of Shanghai. Not because of the fog thought that did not help us at all. We stopped to ask directions at least 7 or 8 times.Stopping on the highway and flagging down cars... I was so out of it I fell asleep. Until the arguing began....

We had made it to Kunshan. :) The adventure continues as the search for my apartment was in full force. Several angry phone calls, a few pointed discussions, and a couple of hours later the driver, who does not speak a word of English, "Stone" that spoke very little herself managed to find my new domicile. I have a great apartment it is really spacious. So far no roommate to deal with. The roommate I was supposed to have did leave me a lot to clean out but that is another story... If you want to Google my location use the following "Chao Yang Xi Cun loc: Kunshan".

Kunshan is a very metropolitan place, everyone even the elderly dress more trendy than you see in Austin, Texas. I am in so much trouble they have entire street here dedicated to metal working. And every corner is a new flea market. For those that know me this is going to be a problem. And I would have given my eyeteeth to have access to the sort of metal scraps and tools for sale on a few city blocks here for my workshop back home.

Food is wonderful though I have to admit to having more than my fair share of spicy chicken sandwich meals at the 24 hour local KFC. The chains like that have point menus and my language skills are not at a place yet to easily pantomime through a discussion of what I want, how much, and what does it cost? Working on it. Language study is ensuing but so far things like "hello", "goodbye", "that is a dog","Look at the large group of people running" are just not skills that are helping me on the streets yet. :)

To the point. I am here. I am alive. The job seems simple enough. I miss my family and friends with the acuity of pain that I have not felt before. Alone is a frame of mind, not a state of being. I know I am not alone and many worked hard and sacrificed much so I could pursue this. For this I am very grateful, and excited to have so many supporting me in my dreams from my childhood. I cannot ignore though that this comes at a cost, a severe loss of being next to my soulmate with whom I have gone through so much of my life with. My family Shawn and Lorna, not a moment goes by as I traveled the streets of Kunshan, walked the rivers and streams and investigated the hordes of stores of every kind imaginable, not a second without the burden of that loss weighing on my mind. I can only hope to find a success that can make this sacrifice worth the loss I most assuredly feel.

A side note that may mean nothing but may be a stroke of providence. I chose Kunshan as it had a job ready for me and it was closest to Shanghai one of the top universities in TCM. It was central to the country and would allow for ease of travel in all directions while I was here. But in investigating the streets I find that in all the construction around (more on construction later) there is a new branch of the local hospital of TCM right here in my yard basically not less than a block from my residence. I have yet to find out how connected it might be to the education system. What I do know is that regardless, again assuming I learn the language, I will likely have an opportunity to volunteer and at the hospital and gain more first hand knowledge as I prepare to try to ready myself for serious academic study. Again too early to know. But this is one of those coincidences that screams of destiny. We will have to see. I am reminded of something.

I wrote a poem as a teen. It was related to the many walks I would go on to clear my mind.

Down a troubled road walked a boy,
Rocks and trees guiding his hand.
Walked away down and around the bend was a boy,
to find upon returning a man.


It is my sincerest hope that my success here will be able to justify the sacrifices that have been made to make it happen. I do not know what this journey holds. Having just received a call from my boss that I will be taking over a class tomorrow morning cold with no idea the material or current syllabus. Kindergarteners this should be another worthy post in my adventure. :)

再见 zàijiàn

Good Bye for now.

When you sum up your life what is it that adds up? What counts, in what column? Tomorrow I pack up for China. I am moving to follow a dream. I was a kid enamored by culture and an idea. Not just of taking my geeky little chubby body into being a warrior, but of reaching for an ideal of balance. A warrior that is a healer, that is a leader, that is a teacher, that is a man. I wanted to fulfill this dream and have worked hard despite setbacks. I have a 4th degree in Uechi-ryu Karate Do, a first degree in Bujinkan Ninjutsu. I have studied numerous arts and practiced with leaders in the fields of both Medical Qigong, and modern combat close quarters battle. But I want more I want to be more than the sum of my parts. I want to trip around the world and study, not second hand, not through more books, not someone's interpretations of what THEY learned over in the orient. I want to learn by hitting the ground running. By learning the language, doing the research, visiting the places Kanbun trained at, taught at. We cannot be limited by anything more than ourselves. We are the only thing that holds us back. Most people live lives of excuses for why we did not do something. Not for me, No more. No more excuses. When I tally the sum of my life, there is going to be an imbalance in the "done that" column. :)

Mixed news, visa in hand, the world through a rearview mirror

One knight is on his way to Shanghai... More specifically KunShan.  Getting my visa personally cost me more in personal time and money than it ever should have. But Visa is in hand ticket is purchased and I am getting ready to start packing.  I have a few more things to knock out but then I am on my way.

We cannot guess where we might be in a few years from now. We cannot even know about our tomorrow. When all things are added up this is something I need to do. I have to make sure I make it count for all it could be worth, as today made apparent just how much I have to lose.

Valentine's day and I manged to get back to do a little celebrating, hoping to do even more over the next few days. I have only a few days left to collect a few more memories and throw some more of me into storage.

How do you pack your life into two suitcases? Having an opportunity to follow some dreams of mine is a really great adventure and possibilities are endless if I do things right. Today, the thoughts of those I love, that I leave behind and my heart is heavy, very heavy indeed.